


Never Enough

by deebainwonderland



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Comfort, Confessions, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Established Relationship, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Insecure Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Post-Canon, Smut, Top Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 19:48:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deebainwonderland/pseuds/deebainwonderland
Summary: “It’s not just a notion, angel,” Crowley finally said, words tight as if he were terrified of their reception. “You and I, never being enough, never having enough. It’s not just an idea,  it’s…. What I feel. What I am. All the time.”





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I have tumbled headfirst into the rabbit hole that is the Good Omens fandom and I can’t get out! Send help. Except not really, it’s kind of nice down here.

“Ah, ah, oh my love!” Aziraphale cried out, hands shooting out to grip Crowley’s shoulders as the demon’s thrusts knocked him back against the bed frame. “Oh, Crowley, I can’t eh…”

Laughter filtered into his ears, sending a remarkable shiver up Aziraphale’s back despite the hot red splotches covering his skin. Only one pillow stood valiantly between him and the shaking bed frame and Aziraphale vaguely wondered if he’d wake up with bruises as he slammed back against it once again. He had one leg stretched out in front while the other was bent at the knee and tossed carelessly over Crowley’s shoulder. 

Crowley flashed a grin at him and Aziraphale pounded on his chest in annoyance. “How do you always look so calm when we’re doing this?”

“This?” asked Crowley, mirth shining in his eyes as he gave a particularly hard thrust and Aziraphele yelped as he hit his prostate with deadly accuracy. “You mean fucking? Come on, angel, tell it like it is.” 

Aziraphale screwed up his eyes at the profanity and his hands fell down to scrabble against Crowley’s chest. “Ah, Crowley, darling, it’s so much. I can’t… It’s too much.”

Crowley hummed in his ear, one hand reaching down to caress his lover’s thighs. Then, without warning, the hand flew up to grip Aziraphale’s chin.

Aziraphale gasped in a sharp intake of breath, momentarily forgetting the blistering feel of Crowley moving inside him. Crowley’s eyes were nearly pure black, with only the tiniest sliver of yellow as he stared down at his prey. 

“Is it too much?” he asked softly, voice unnaturally stern. “It’s you and me, angel. Could it ever possibly be enough?”

Aziraphale gazed up in the eyes of the one who had loved him for thousands of years. He had only been accepting towards that love for a few months and each day he was amazed at the vastness of the demon’s devotion. Whoever said demons couldn’t feel love obviously didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. Nothing in his long, lonely life felt like the love that Crowley bestowed upon him. It burned into every crevice of Azirephale’s being. Could it burn him alive?

“No,” Aziraphale replied softly, reaching shaking hands up to cup the face above him. “No. It’s never enough.”

_Let him burn._

Crowley snarled, twisted his face to press a single hard kiss to the inside of Aziraphale’s wrist before rearing back on his haunches. His hands wrapped around Aziraphale’s plump waist and yanked him down. The angel yelped in surprise before smothering a laugh. Crowley shot him a fond, annoyed sort of look. 

Aziraphale was now sprawled on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Crowley hooked his lover’s remaining leg over his other shoulder and reach down to snag Aziraphale’s wrists in his grasp. He pinned them to the bed above Aziraphale’s head and began to roll his hips slowly.

Aziraphale writhed against him with a breathy moan. He could feel every inch of Crowley’s thick cock inside of him, the slow pace making him bristle with intense feeling.

“Oh, my love, please, faster,” he gasped, nails biting in Crowley’s hands where he was restrained. 

Crowley hummed, sounding infuriatingly composed. “Oh, come on, angel. Don’t you want to feel every single inch of me? Don’t you want this to last?”

“We have every day of the rest of our lives, my dear,” Aziraphale gasped back. The feeling of Crowley’s hard, lean body above him was intoxicating. “Right now, I just want you to fuck me.”

Snarling, Crowley released his lover’s hands to grip his waist. Sitting back, Crowley dragged Aziraphale up into his lap and began delivering short, brutal thrusts with unrelenting precision.

“Oh, god, yes, right there, my love. You’re so good to me, Crowley, my dear, you always give me what I need.”

He was cut off as Crowley swooped down to kissed him hotly. Aziraphale instantly opened up and Crowley’s long tongue swirled into his mouth, brushing against his teeth. The force of his thrusts was clanging their teeth together painfully but neither pulled away. 

Aziraphale finally broke away with a gasp when a hand closed around his throbbing dick. His head fell back, eyes barely even seeing anymore. “Oh, yes, my dear, just like that. You always take such good care of me, don’t you?” 

Crowley’s eyes slid away from his face and the thrusts faltered. Aziraphale came back to himself slowly and gazed up at the slightly blank look that had stolen over his lover’s face. 

Aziraphale pulled himself up and gently pushed on Crowley’s chest. His lover’s eyes swung back to his face and Crowley jerked back as if stung. “Not good? I’m sorry, angel, I’m sorry, please. Tell me what you want, anything, I’m sorry, angel. I’ll get it right, I swear!” 

The desperation on the demon’s face made Aziraphale feel vaguely ill. 

“No, no, love. Sit still.”

Crowley froze as if turned to stone. He watched his angel silently, body tight as if he expected to need to spring away quickly. 

Aziraphale smiled reassuringly and pulled himself further into Crowley’s lap. “You look so nervous all of a sudden, my love. Where is the self-assured man from a moment ago who was so certain we could do more? That we needed to do more?”

Crowley’s hands closed gently around Aziraphale’s hips but still didn’t move, his cock throbbing inside the angel. Aziraphale reached out and ran gentle fingers across Crowley’s forehead, collecting the sweat gathered there. “Answer me, love.” 

Jerking to attention, Crowley stared at his angel in anguish. “I did something you didn’t like.”

“Hmm?” Aziraphale murmured, fingers tracing the hard edges of the face before him.

“You...you pushed me away,” Crowley said slowing, still looking ready to bolt. “I did something you didn’t like. Angel, I’m sorry.” The words turned into a plead. 

“The only thing I didn’t like was when you got a troubled look on your face, love,” Aziraphale told him softly. “Something upset you. Something I must have said, I believe.”

Crowley jerked upright at that, pulling Aziraphale closer in his arms. Aziraphale had to bite back a moan as the cock inside him shifted.

“No, no, angel, please,” Crowley begged and Aziraphale was shocked to see a single tear slid down his cheeks. “You’re perfect, you’re always perfect. I can’t believe that I’m the one you…. You’re perfect, angel.”

“Well, I am most certainly not,” Aziraphale laughed and cut off Crowley’s protest by beginning to slowly ride him, twisting his hips to feel the burn against his prostate. 

Crowley didn’t stop him from moving. In fact, the hands of his hips began to help Aziraphale find his pleasure. His eyes slid shut as he seemed to be working diligently to repress the moans bubbling in his throat.

“Look at me, Crowley.” Aziraphale’s words were stern. 

Crowley’s eyes shot open again and he looked agonizingly up at his lover. Suddenly, Aziraphale clenched hard and Crowley yelped. 

Smiling, Aziraphale pressed a quick kiss against Crowley’s lips, licking them as he withdrew. Crowley followed after his lips, whining softly.

“Does it look like I am not being taken care of, my dear?” Aziraphale asked, beginning to ride harder. He ground down on Crowley’s cock, his own cock oozing out against the demon’s chest. “Does it feel like I’m not being satisfied?”

“What do you want me to do, angel?” Crowley breathed reverently. “Anything, angel, please.” 

“Touch me,” Aziraphale demanded. “Don’t come. Make me.”

Crowley fell enthusiastically into the new task. He rolled his hips to reach as far as possible into his love and jerked Aziraphale harshly. 

“Oh, yes, love,” Aziraphale gasped, his own undeniable control faltering. Crowley’s teeth bit into his neck and Aziraphale came with a loud cry. He clung to Crowley, the demon pumping him through his orgasm. Finally, Aziraphale’s vision cleared and he gave a long, contented sigh. 

Crowley was nearly vibrating beneath him. His teeth had bitten into his lower lip and Azirephale could see drops of blood forming there. He leaned forward and kissed them away. 

“Angel,” Crowley gasped, looking up with watery eyes. “Angel, please.”

“What if I said you couldn’t come at all tonight, my love?” Aziraphale asked casually as if the thought had no real consequence to him. He ground down hard to drive the point home. 

Crowley gasped, hand shooting down to grasp the head of his dick to keep himself from coming. “Oh, oh, angel. Please. I need it, angel, please!”

“I asked you a question, my dear,” Aziraphale said softly into his ear. His tongue flicked out and Crowley moaned as it caressed his ear lobe. “I expect an answer. What if I said you couldn’t come tonight? Would you disobey my wishes?”

“No,” Crowley whispered, eyes shut again and chest heaving. “No, I wouldn’t. Angel, I’d do anything you asked of me.”

“Mhhm?” Aziraphale drawled. He ground down again and hissed at the overstimulation of the rock hard cock within him. “And what if I wanted another round? What if I still didn’t let you come after that?”

Crowley’s fingers tightened around his cock and the moan that burst from Aziraphele’s lips wasn’t entirely intentional. “Anything, angel,” Crowley murmured, another tear slipping down his cheek. “Tell me what you want, angel, anything.”

He didn’t look upset, Aziraphale mused. The demon gripped the idea of giving Aziraphale more pleasure with enthusiasm. If anything Crowley looked a tad overwhelmed. Thousands of years of waiting and wanting left scars, Aziraphale knew. 

Aziraphale studied the demon before him, slipping a hand around his face to wipe the tear away. Crowley was near quivering with need but his fingers were already stroking Aziraphale again. 

“Come, darling.” 

Crowley blinked in confusion. “What?”

Aziraphale lifted himself up, near clean off Crowley before slamming back down. Crowley howled and shook in his grasp. “I said, _ come _ , Crowley. _ Now _.”

Crowley stared at the angel with wide eyes for a single moment longer before jerking forward. Aziraphale’s back hit the bed once again and it only took one final thrust before Crowley was gasping through his orgasm. 

Aziraphale sighed happily as the warmth of his lover filled him. “Well done, my dear. Simply exquisite.”

Crowley withdrew gently and collapsed down on the bed next to Aziraphale. He stared up at the ceiling, as if not quite believing he had been granted release. 

Aziraphale rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow, studying his lover. Crowley was spread out like a feast, unashamed by his debauched state. 

“I love you, my dear,” Aziraphale murmured softly, fingers tracing over the demon’s chest. 

Crowley seemed to come back to himself. He snagged Aziraphale hand and began to kiss each of his fingers. “Angel, you have no idea… I love you so much.”

“I rather hope I have some idea,” Aziraphale replied softly but Crowley just shook his head. 

His tongue flicked out in between Aziraphale’s fingers. Now that the passion was over, the angel knew the demon was doing his level best to distract him. Luckily, Aziraphale had much practice with the enigma that was the demon Crowley. 

“That was very good, my love,” he told Crowley, gently. “I wasn’t disappointed in the least. Quite the contrary, I enjoyed myself immensely.”

The tension drained from the demon’s shoulders. “I did too, angel.” 

Aziraphale hummed, trailing a finger across his companion’s chest. “I thought that was a wonderfully romantic notion. That we could never have enough of each other. You’ve quite a way with words, dear boy.” 

The tension scrawled back across Cowley’s face.

_ Ah, so that’s what it was. I thought so._

“Talk to me, love,” Aziraphale said quietly, turning the demon’s face back towards him. “What troubles you so?”

Crowley swooped down to steal a kiss. Aziraphale allowed it, humming happily into his mouth. But when Crowley tried to swing himself over the angel, Aziraphale gently pushed him back. “It’s no use trying to distract me, Crowley. I’d like to know where your mind is, love.”

Groaning, Crowley dropped his head to Aziraphale’s shoulder. The angel hummed and stroked a hand through the dark red strands. “Talk to me, darling.” 

Crowley muttered something into his neck. Aziraphale gently pulled his head back to look into the demon’s yellow eyes. “No hiding, love. What did you say?”

“It’s not just a notion,” Crowley replied, so quietly that Aziraphale had to move closer to hear. The demon took a shaking breath and pressed a kiss to the angel’s chin. 

“What’s not a notion, my love?” Aziraphale asked in confusion. “I don’t think I understand.”

Crowley took a deep breath as though steeling himself. He sat up and pulled himself to sit cross-legged with his back against the bed frame. Crowley held his arms out in a silent plea and Aziraphale felt an age-old fondness that left him near breathless. He too pulled himself up and settled in Crowley’s lap, hands stroking the firm thighs on either side of him. Crowley kissed his neck, so softly that Aziraphale barely felt the brush of lips against his skin. 

“It’s not just a notion, angel,” Crowley finally said, words tight as if he were terrified of their reception. “You and I, never being enough, never having enough. It’s not just an idea, it’s…. What I feel. What I am. All the time.”

Aziraphale opened his mouth to interject but Crowley shushed him with a stroke. “No, please, let me finish, angel.”

Aziraphale obediently fell silent again, fingers grazing over Crowley’s legs in encouragement. 

The demon shivered and pulled the angel ever closer. “I have loved you for thousands of years, angel. And I don’t know how much longer we have on Earth but I know that I will love you every single day that we have here, together. I wasn’t just in the throes of passion, Aziraphale. I meant it. It will never be enough for me. I can’t believe you’ve let me have as much as you have. But there is no finish line for me. And I’m afraid, sometimes, that you…”

He trailed off but Aziraphale had heard enough. He felt something fiery grow into a blaze in the pit of his stomach. “And you think I do?”

Crowley’s head jerked back, not expected to outburst of sound from the angel in his lap. Aziraphale swung him around and grasped Crowley’s face in his hands. At the touch, Crowley inhaled air sharply through his nose. 

“Well, now I suppose I know why you always look so pleasantly surprised when I reach for you,” Aziraphale ground out. Little things about his life with the demon were becoming clear. Like the way Crowly looked relieved when Aziraphale would reach for him first in bed. Or how he was always bringing the angel new books and treats and then brushing off any subsequent praise. “And why you thank me for things you really shouldn’t. Really, Crowley, do you honestly think that I started this with you while looking for a finish line?”

Crowley flinched back at the anger in his angel’s voice but held firm, unwilling to relinquish his grasp. “That isn’t what I meant, angel. I only thought, well, I know you’re happy in the here and now and all I can think about is the future and how everything might change for you.”

“Oh, and you’re so sure that nothing will change for you?” Aziraphale demanded hotly. 

There was a moment of silence, Crowley looking back at him with slitted eyes. “Angel, I’ve never been sure of anything in my life. But I’m sure of that.” 

As quickly as it had come, the anger and fight drained out of Aziraphale. He supposed he really couldn’t blame Crowley. In all the time they had known each other, it had always been Aziraphale second-guessing his decisions and worrying about the consequences, all wrapped up in his own perspective. Perhaps he hadn’t done enough to prove to the demon that he was different now. That the demon didn’t just mean something, he meant _ everything _. 

“Do you love me, Crowley?” he asked softly.

An awful sound like a wounded animal burst past Crowley’s lips. He cupped Aziraphale’s face with shaking hands. “Angel, how can you ask me that? You know that I do. More than anything.”

“I know, dearest,” Aziraphale soothed, placing his own hands over the demon’s. “I know that without a doubt. And maybe, here at the beginning of us, you may not be as certain as me. I haven’t shown you the longevity of my love yet. But I will, Crowley, I swear it.”

This only seemed to distress Crowley even more. “No, baby,” he murmured, “I don’t want you to have to work for anything. What you said while we were making love, that I take care of you, that is all I want.”

“But this isn’t a one-sided relationship,” Aziraphale countered gently. “I’m just as all-in as you are, my dear. Granted, it took me a while to get here but here I am, right by your side. And it is here I will remain, for as long as you will have me.” 

Crowley’s breath hitched. “Always, angel,” he gasped, new tears beginning to flow down his face. “Always. It will be forever, angel.”

Aziraphale grinned brightly and swooped down to steal a kiss. Crowley eagerly returned it, hands sliding down hook around the angel’s waist. 

Aziraphale pulled back slightly. Crowley’s lips followed him for a second before his eyes opened, looking at the angel with wonder. 

Reaching out a thumb, Aziraphale pushed it against the demon’s lips. Crowley’s mouth opened instantly, tongue swirling around the digit. Aziraphale leaned in again and kissing the demon, keeping his mouth open wide with his thumb. 

Crowley shuddered against him and kissed back with fervor. Finally, Aziraphele pulled away again and reached over to wipe away the last of the demon’s tears as Crowley ran possessive hands down his back.

“Forever sounds like a wonderful place to start.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't you just love this fandom? Please leave a kudo and/or comment if you enjoyed!


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